759. The muggleborns sending howlers to the purebloods, and when they open them, “Never Gonna Give You Up” starts playing. The purebloods are confused, but you can hear the chorus of groans from the other muggleborns.
*explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
wait, what's polyamory?
well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
*overhears from front of class*
that is d i s g u s t i n g
*defensively* um, actually, no it's--
how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
I have waited tables. I’ve worked in bars. You know who tips well? The working poor, the lower middle class, and people who work or have worked in service industries. You know who tips shitty or not at all? Rich people, upper middle class people, and privileged fuckers who use their “moral opposition” to tipping to be cheap assholes.